Dangerous Liasions

Overall: Good

Not Amadeus.  But on the other hand, not Affair of the Necklace either.

Speech

Last night I gave a speech at my local Toastmasters club, and took home for the first time in what seems like forever, the Best Speaker ribbon.

The title of my speech was "What To Do When It's All Too Much".  I just gave a brief overview of some of the techniques I practice when it all gets to be too much and the walls are caving in on me.

The first technique I discussed was the Stop 3 Breath Technique.  At the moment when you feel you're really about to lose it, just stop.  Stop immediately what you're doing.  Close your eyes.  And take 3 deep breaths.  Then continue on with whatever it is that you were doing.

The 2nd thing I described was the 3 step process for when you realize you're facing adversity:

1. Do Something Therapeutic

It can be anything, a guided imagery, going to the beach, praying...

2. Read Something Inspirational or Spiritually Uplifting

3. EXERCISE

That's all there really was to it.  It's not a speech I practiced.  But that is because I didn't feel the need to do so.  And I got some very good feedback on it.  Look forward to posting it on my social media pages.

Theory

A rabbi of mine once had an interesting theory, of which I've elaborated upon over the past few years, as to why Jews, especially those from the East coast/New York area move away from Judaism.

I was having a conversation with my friend Shmuel, and I told him about how I had read The Vanishing American Jew written by Alan Dershowitz.  In it, Mr. Dershowitz talked about a woman he had encountered.  This woman was Jewish by birth, and had grown up in a very typical, conservative Jewish American home.  When she began dating as a teenager, she had no interest in dating any Jewish guys, and eventually married a Catholic man.  Neither her nor her children have any connection whatsoever to Judaism.  When asked why, she answered "To me, growing up, Judaism was nothing more than an old man saying no."

My rabbi, Shmuel recounted to me, said that the essence of Judaism is very soft and tender.  After the Holocaust, the survivors who came here set the tone for a hardened and embittered Judaism.  I believe it started happening even before the Holocaust, with the advent of all the pogroms in Russia and Eastern Europe starting at the turn of the last century.

Anyway, the theory is that many of today's Jews who came from this hardened and embittered Jewish environment are still looking for that soft, sweet core that they know in their hearts is there.  And they go looking for it in ashrams, Eastern religions, New Ageism, and (I believe) even in things like Reform and Reconstructionist Judaism --  which all on the surface, appear to have that soft, sweet, tender inner base.

Shabbat Shalom

Apple

Amazing how an apple can fill you up.  Well, that's what it's supposed to do.  It's got plenty of fiber in it, so it fills up your intestines with food, and makes you feel full.

Game 4 of the ALCS tonight in Detroit.  Red Sox bats have got to wake up against the number 4 starter for the Tigers.  I just don't think Sanchez, Schwertzer, and Verlander are going to get any easier to face as this series progresses.

Yesterday at the bar I was at, I drank Sam Adams' Oktoberfest beer.  That bar doesn't have light beers on tap.  So, I indulged.  And, I'll do so again this afternoon/evening.

Shabbat meals are all set.

Most Memorable Kosher Establishments I've Dined At So Far In My Life

Distrikt Bistro (Washington, D.C.)
La Gondola (Los Angeles)
Hoffy's (Antwerp)
Pat's (Los Angeles)
Boddha Thai (Los Angeles)
Melech Ha Falafel ve Shawarma (Jerusalem)
Nut House Pizza (Wheaton, MD)
Randall's (Houston)
Madras (Houston)
Mexikosher (Los Angeles)
Shanghai Diamond Garden (Los Angeles)

What It Means To Be a Fighter

I have been a fighter all my life.  And, I make absolutely no apologies for being one.

So, what exactly does it mean to be a fighter?  A very good question; one which I definitely do not have any pocket answer for.

For me, a lot of times it just means getting right back up after being knocked down.  I love that Chumbawamba song from the 90's - the one that goes "I get knocked down, but I get up again..."  A friend of mine used to joke about it, in fact because she knew how much I loved it, and how closely it reflected my personality as well as my overall way of being.

I'm not sure what else being a fighter entails, exactly.  It is, though, a quality of mine that I am (not so much anymore) privately very proud to have. 

Here's hoping that someone else who happens to be reading it might draw at least a bit of inspiration out of this post.

Come on Sox, let's deliver the knockout punch Monday night in Tampa Bay...

Delmon Young 2

So, it is going to be Delmon Young and the Rays facing us in the first round.  Suffice it to say, I will not be watching or listening to any of the games.

Still have got a lot to do.  No shiur tonight it looks like unfortunately...

The Bruins have dropped the puck and have officially opened the 2013-14 against Tampa Bay.  Hockey and basketball, from October - April are essentially six-month long extended exhibition seasons, so I really have no interest in any of the games until then.

I am hunkering for some sashimi tonight to go with my rice and noodle leftovers...

Time to move the car...technically, I could be getting a ticket for it right at this moment.

Delmon Young

The Cleveland Indians and the Tampa Bay Rays are about set to face off in their AL Wild Card game to determine who will go on to play the Red Sox in the opening divisional round of the playoffs.  I refuse to listen to the game.  And if the Rays win this game and face the Red Sox, I refuse to watch or listen to any of the games.  All because of one (and I use this next word very loosely) man, Delmon Young.

Mr. Young, I have hardly forgotten about what you did in your drunken stupor in New York early last season.  It was for that reason I refused to watch or listen to any of the ALCS or World Series last year.  And it's the same reason why whether it was with the Tigers, Phillies, or now the Rays - I immediately turned the dial if I found out that you were playing in that game.  I sincerely hope that you are out of baseball soon.  I'm sure many others like you have done or said worse things.  But you got caught.

Go Cleveland.

Postseason

It appears the Red Sox will not begin their ALDS series until Friday night, and will play Game 2 on Saturday.  So, looks as if I will not be in front of any TV watching them play for about a week.  It will be either Cleveland, Texas or Tampa Bay.

Patriots also won last night, and are now 4-0.  Still though, there's no excuse for almost letting a 17 point lead slip away with just about half a quarter left to play.

The Bruins are in training camp, and will begin defense of their Eastern Conference championship soon.  Celtics beginning training camp soon sans Garnett and Pierce.

Tragic, what happened to that Dodgers fan in San Francisco.  Just don't risk it guys.  Your life is not worth less than your favorite sports team.  Really.

Concerts

I went to a lot of rock concerts during the latter half of the 80's, when I was in college.  As one friend of mine later on said to me when I recounted this a while after graduating: "Didn't anyone bother to tell you that your grade point average is inversely and proportionally related to the number of concerts you go to while in school?"  :)

One concert I have particularly fond memories of was the Yes concert I went to at the Worcester Centrum in December of 1987.  Now, besides what a great performance Jon, Trevor, Rick, Tony, etc. put on, was the fact that I was completely sick as a dog the night of that show.  What compelled me to get up and go to that show is beyond me.  But go I did, and it really was one of the better performances I saw out of all the Centrum concerts I attended during my time at Clark.  Every one of those guys is just such an incredible musician.  And this was during just about the height (maybe a few years following) their mainstream Top 40 popularity.

Learning

I remember one time back in my judo days when I learned a particular technique, and "got it right once" very early on.  Subsequent attempts to apply the same technique kept failing over and over again.  After one particularly tough workout, I remember mentioning to one of my friends in the club (a brown belt), that I felt like I was actually beginning to take a step or two back in my training, and not at all improving.  His response?

"That's actually a good sign.  It's a sign that now you are beginning to take note of the mistakes you're making.  Before, you weren't even aware of those mistakes.  But now that you know you're making them, all you've got to do is figure out how to stop making them and apply the techniques correctly."

What he was saying in a nutshell was -- I was learning.  Much the same with everyday life.  And have I got a lot to learn...

Minute Maid Park

Got my first taste of Minute Maid Park last night, as I was able to see pretty much all of the Astros getting pounded by Cincinnati for their 99th loss of the season.  Sorry, sorry franchise right now -- hate to tell you.

Was able to have my coffee this morning.  Makes a huge difference.

Stayed up late last night watching South Park.  Not something usual, but I suppose these are special circumstances...actually quite enjoyed the two-part episode about Cartman traveling 500 years into the future, all based on his inability to wait three weeks for the new Nintendo Wii to come out.

Yom Kippur

So ends another year.  Going to begin fasting in about an hour and a half.

Got my 4 runs in for the week.  Very happy about that.  Do not have to worry about not having achieved that weekly goal.

Going to a pre-fast meal in about 30 minutes.  Think I'll have time to come back here, throw on my tie, light the candles, and brush my teeth before Kol Nidre.

Red Sox

The Red Sox are closing in on the AL Eastern Division title.  Last night's 10-inning 7-3 win over Tampa Bay lowers their magic number for clinching down to 8, with about 18 or so left to play.

What a blessing it is to have this current ownership regime.  After reading all about the Yawkey/Yawkey Estate regime's sins/wrongdoings in the book It Was Never About the Babe, it's so wonderful to have this regime in charge.  I think the fact that the owners are not in fact locals made a lot of the difference.  Tom Yawkey was not a local either, but he brought all the worst elements of Southern culture with him up north when he bought the team -- and it reflected all throughout his and his estate's ownership of the team.

The Sox are also planning on honoring Yaz with a statue outside Fenway.  Well, the man was an institution for an entire generation.  Without him, the Sox for sure don't win one pennant, and perhaps not two.

Sweatshop

My first true job out of college was working in corporate sweatshop.  It was a high-end sweatshop.  But still nevertheless, it was a sweatshop.  Senior management of this company though, was very good at masking that aspect of the company from its young, naïve, inexperienced workforce.  Of course, I ended up staying there long past my expiration date.  I needed that experience -- because I did not get everything out of my college experience that I could have.  Anyway, I was mostly unhappy throughout my college experience.  My life up until age 18 really had not prepared me for college.  Also, I don't think I attended a college that was really suited for me.  But again, no crying over the past -- all my experiences made me into what I am today -- and I'm very thankful for that.

Another fast coming up in a few days.

I had to go through a lot the past 20 years to get where I'm at.  It was around 20 years ago that I first experienced the Judaism that has propelled me into the observance that I follow today.

Harassment

Just experienced my first anti-Semitic harassment since moving to LA.  Out for my daily walk, crossing Curson and Rosewood, a car stops just after I crossed, and the passenger yelled out "kike!", and sped off.  I stopped to make sure to get the license plate number, the car also stopped halfway up the street, and I heard the passenger use some more expressive language.  I think I was able to catch the license plate number, which I wrote down:

CA 6YZDLT03

It was a white car, but that's all I was able to get.  I called 911, and was told it's not a "hate crime" per se, but it is definitely harassment, which I can report if I choose to.  I have to go directly to the nearest police station and report it in person, though.  I think I'm going to contact a lawyer friend of mine, see if there's some way of reporting this within the community.  Or perhaps Hillygram.  Or Beverly Patrol.

Fasting

Got through the Fast of Gedalia relatively unscathed yesterday, now comes the Fast of all Fasts this Friday evening - Saturday evening.

Lunch will be a Hawaiian-style plate lunch, dinner will be Indian vegetarian.  Toastmasters club speech contest is tonight -- I am a contest co-chair.

Sox lost a game in the standings yesterday, but still hold a seven and a half game lead in the AL East with three weeks to go in the season.  Ellsbury will hopefully be back in the lineup from his injury for the start of the playoffs.

Needed a CBTL pick-me-up this morning after prayer services.  Glad I did it.

Patriots win on opening Sunday

Just heard, Tom Brady is now 21-2 lifetime against the Bills.  A win's a win, folks...

Growing up, the Patriots were really such a joke.  The problem with them back then was even if they happened to be good...they were still never really a likeable team.  Bill Simmons likened them to an uncle in your family who never could get things right, and at just the time he had fooled you into thinking he'd finally turned his life around, he would inevitably show up to some family function drunk. 

Of course with the Pats, that all changed about 11 years ago...will never forget watching that Super Bowl in a bar in SF with my friends Jon and Andrea.  By about the 2nd quarter, it became apparent that they had a chance to win the thing.  And I discovered that in my heart, I had never truly abandoned them like I thought I had.  That's why I was prepared when the Bruins won two years ago.  I had thought for a while that I had abandoned them.  But after the Pats' miraculous win in SB XXXVI, I realized how much I still loved all of my original New England sports teams.  The Celtics will only hold my interest when they are winning and contending for a title -- and I'm totally OK with that.

Paremsan Cheese

I seem to be having no luck with parmesan cheese.  Yesterday, I went into my local kosher supermarket, and was nicely pleased to find that they now carry the same fresh grated parmesan cheese that until now, I had to go to the other side of town to get.  I bought a package, and looked forward to my pasta meal last night.  Only problem -- the parmesan cheese smells like Roquefort...(of course, that did not stop me from finishing the bowl)...

So, I go back today and exchange it for another one.  Guess what?  Same problem.  I think the whole shipment must be bad.  Anyway, I had sliced mozzarella to put on it.  Not the same, but pasta and cheese is pasta and cheese...

Serious bout of insomnia last night...went to bed early enough (10PM), but got up at midnight, and couldn't get back to sleep until almost 4 in the morning...Luckily, I had a very smart person advise me to keep drinking lots of water during the day, which it seems has helped me get here to almost 7:30PM.

Canker Sores

I cannot stand canker sores.  And of course, I've got two of them now - one on the upper and one on the lower lip.  CVS over-the-counter mouth sore medicine only helps so much.

So glad I was able to get a run in this morning before selichot.  Of course now, I feel like I'm just about wiped out for the rest of the day.  Probably going to get my second wind a little later...hopefully.

At least the pasta's cooked for this evening.  Hot pasta never tastes as good as it does when it's given enough "breathing room" time.

Pro Wrestling

Yes, amongst all my other dispositions towards 80's quirks, I was a huge pro wrestling fan throughout much of the 80's.  My liking consisted of the WWF in the beginning of the decade (1980-82) and the end (87-89).  During that first part of the decade, I even concocted my own "dream card" that I would have held were it entirely up to me.  Included in the matches I envisioned were:

Killer Khan vs. Pat Patterson

Ken Patera vs. Ivan Putski

The Strongbows vs. The Samoans

Rick Martel vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Bob Backlund vs. I think Adrian Adonis in a steel cage match

Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan in a brass knuckle street fight (this was when Hogan was still the heel wrestler and Andre the face).

Oh, and as one friend of mine (in his 20's at the time, and a Harvard graduate) put it: "What's not to like about pro wrestling?  It's live cartoons!"

Shabbat Shalom, everyone.

Houston

Well y'all, just arrived here to Houston yesterday (first time), and I have to say the heat's not as bad as I expected it to be.  Of course, having steady access to AC certainly helps.

The first time I remember ever speaking to somebody from here was growing up.  My father, as a mechanical engineer with a specialty in designing AC units for large buildings, got recruited by a company here.  A woman named Doris Kilgor called our house asking to speak to him.  Now, this was the 70's, before cell phones and what have you.  I just thought at the time, as I took the message, it was incredibly cool to be speaking to this woman with a different accent from halfway across the country, and the fact that she was calling long distance from an area code (713) that at the time I had never heard of!

Eyes

Well, according to the optometrist, my eyesight hasn't changed any since last year.  I suppose that's good news.

More than halfway through Elul now, with Rosh Hashanah right up on our doorstep.

Think I am going to do just a simple pancake dinner tonight.

Football preseason is already in full swing, but I don't consider it officially football season until about the 3rd or 4th week of the actual regular season.  By then, we're actually into the fall season - and for me, football's just not a summer sport.  Will never forget the year they actually played the first game of the regular season on August 31st...

"Thrill Kill" of the Australian Student

The three teens who killed the Australian student this week "for the fun of it" and because "they were bored", in my opinion, should all get the needle.  As one person commented on my Facebook page today -- "Funny, I haven't heard Sharpton or Jackson say anything about this".

Another person said "Any one of them could have been me -- Obama".

Is all of this really a sign we're getting closer and closer to the time of mashiach?  I would sure like to hope and think so.

I remember my father's big pile of draftman's books in our cellar growing up.  I just remember a whole bludgeon of weird mathematical formulas and engineers' drawings.  Did not take any liking to it even then.

The Peterkin Papers

I was just thinking about a couple of my favorite short stories from back in grade school.  In about 3rd-4th grade, we read The Peterkin Papers short stories by Lucretia Peabody Hale.  Considering she was from Boston and her father was Nathan Hale, no big surprise her then nearly 100 year old stories were still a big hit in the Massachusetts educational system.

I actually only remember reading two of the stories.  The first one involved Mrs. Peterkin and her cup of coffee.  In the end, the lady from Philadelphia "saved the day" by advising her to throw out whatever it was she had concocted and make a fresh cup.  The second involved the family's quest to write a story, and their hunt to find a quill, ink, and paper.  Of course, the story ends with Solomon John sitting down, ready to begin writing and declaring "But I haven't got anything to say!"  How many times have I felt like that?

High drama at Fenway last night with A-Rod, Ryan Dempster, and Joe Girardi.  I guess this time, he got the better of us.

Professor Umbridge

One of my favorite characters in the Harry Potter series would have to be that of Professor Umbridge.  The back flap of Order of the Phoenix describes her as "having a personality like poisoned honey".  Pretty apt, I would have to say.

The truth is, I think I've known some people like or pretty close to her in personality.  Maybe not all the way, but definitely having those characteristics.  And those people, it seems, know just how to manipulate those high up in power in order to get exactly what it is they want.  The worst part of it is once they achieve that position, it's very, very hard to bring them down - because they have the backing of those in charge.  Sometimes the people in charge are as corrupt as they are, and are just using them to do their dirty work.  And other times, the people in charge realize only too late the monster that they've created.  Again, I've definitely seen this play out in the corporate world.

Running

Was able to get my first run in this morning since the start of Selichot.  Just 20 minutes, but it felt good to get out there again.

Thinking about something I read in Seth Godin's The Icarus Deception.  In it, he talks about not lamenting or regretting whatever it is you did or didn't do in your life that you think you should have.  According to him, everything that happened to you and was perpetuated by you (both the good and the bad) is all part of that big artist's tapestry you've created...known as your life.

Harry Potter really is a better read the second time around.  Especially it seems The Order of the Phoenix, which was probably the most heavily intricate/complicated of all the books.  I learned a while back that J.K. Rowling got rejected by eight publishers for The Sorcerer's Stone, and was on the verge of giving up.  She then got an encouragement from a little eight-year old girl who had read it and liked it.  Scholastic Books, not a very big publisher at the time, picked up and well, the rest is magical history.

Shabbat Shalom

The Godfather

Not sure why this is, but for some reason, I've had The Godfather on my mind lately.  I think the reason that it is probably the most highly acclaimed film of all time is that it (and Part II) for the first time, awakened the public to the reality that this is how much of the world works.  Take note of all the supposedly "good" things that Don Vito Corleone did for certain people.

I remember when I watched Geraldo Rivera come up with nothing in the televised showing of the opening of Al Capone's vault.  In it, a former associate (non-mob family related) recounted how Capone was "his buddy", and that "he could not have been any nicer to my Mama".

I'm sure there are lots and lots of people (both mob and non-mob related) in Boston who still revere Whitey Bulger.

Inspire Me Culturally Interview with Author of the New Rules of Marketing And PR/Leadership Strategist David Meerman Scott

A great interview I conducted last week with leading social media and marketing speaker for companies and worldwide conferences David Meerman Scott:



Inspire Me Culturally Interview with David Meerman Scott 8/9/2013:

David Meerman Scott is a marketing strategist, advisor to emerging companies, bestselling author of eight books including three international bestsellers, and a professional speaker on topics including marketing, leadership, and social media.

He is a recovering marketing VP for two U.S. publicly traded companies and was Asia marketing director for Knight-Ridder, at the time one of the world’s largest information companies. David has lived and worked in New York, Tokyo, and Hong Kong. He currently lives in the Boston area.

David serves as an advisor to emerging companies in the marketing technology category including HubSpot, GrabCAD, Libboo, VisibleGains, ExpertFile, GutCheck, and Newstex, as well as varied nonprofits that interest him including the Grateful Dead Archive at UC Santa Cruz, HeadCount, and Nashaquisset. Previously, he was on the boards of directors of NewsWatch KK (successfully sold to Yahoo Japan) and Kadient (successfully merged with Sant) and the board of advisors of Eloqua (successful IPO in mid-2012 and sale to Oracle in early 2013).

OH: Why is it so easy to “lose yourself” on the Internet and lose your focus as an online marketer?

DMS: I think it’s because there’s a lot of distraction on the Internet.  It’s easy to get sucked into so many social media channels.  An example of what I see is the Vine app/site.  All of sudden, it seems people want to jump right on to it.

OH: I’m not a Grateful Dead fan like you, but I did go to a big Deadhead school for college during the height of their mainstream popularity in the 80’s.  So I got to see at the time a little about how they broke every marketing rule in the music industry, especially the taboo then against bootlegging concerts.  Can you share a little about the concepts you wrote of in your book [Marketing Lessons from the Grateful Dead: What Every Business Can Learn from the Most Iconic Band in History, with Brian Halligan]?

DMS: The Grateful Dead were essentially the only band that allowed people to tape their concerts, when pretty much every other band at that time actually had printed on the their tickets “No Taping”.  In speaking with band members, they said what they wanted to do was “the right thing for their fans”.  It’s the idea of sharing your stories and your ideas – really just being nice to people.  There are a number of lessons to be learned from this.

OH: One of the things I’ve noticed in your speaking style is you really seem to give off an aura that this is your true, authentic self.  I know you talk about being passionate about what it is you are selling.  Why is this so important in business and what can be the end result if you don’t do it?

DMS: Thank you for noticing that.  Marketers, businesspeople, salespeople…we all have bad reputations.  What I’m saying is that I can counter all of that by being truly authentic.  If I’m not passionate about what it is I’m selling, I’m going to start using the same stupid language that everyone else uses.  You have got to let your passion show through.  It’s the same for any profession, and also the same for anything not even business related.  I laugh when I hear of a job seeker who’s been sending out resumes for six months and not getting any responses.  They are just not being who they truly and authentically are.

OH: What’s the best way to tailor an online international marketing strategy today?  Is it any different than the same online strategy used to garner domestic or local business?

DMS: Your first consideration should always be the local language.  Although English is widely spoken around the world, it’s not the one used for every product or category.  You need to give it some thought.  Also, be wary of cultural differences.  For example, don’t automatically wish everybody a Merry Christmas.  I’ve had the opportunity to travel to 90 countries and present in 37 of them.  If you’re being yourself and you show your audience respect, it’s then the same for every one of them.

OH: Talk a little about your World Wide Rave concept.

DMS: World Wide Rave is about getting people to share their ideas.  By the way, my book on it is totally free for download on my website [http://www.davidmeermanscott.com/books/], at Amazon Kindle, Barnes and Noble Nook, or Kobo.  What are the triggers that encourage people to share an idea?  And what happens when they do?  What I’ve found in my own experience is as a result of giving out my ideas with no strings attached, many more people now know about my ideas.  The more giving you do, the more you will get back.  What’s not giving is a marketer who is willing to let you have their white paper – provided you give them your email address.  That’s not giving; that’s trading.  There’s a big difference.

OH: In your opinion, what’s behind the fear most people have of trying to do something that has never been done before, or that they’re not “supposed to do”?

DMS: It’s just fear – which is a natural human reaction.  The challenge is to overcome it, and that is a difficult thing to do.  It’s often why people go back to school.  Entrepreneurs on the other hand, just do it.

OH: Thank you so much for your time today, David.

DMS: Thank you.

First Dodger Game

Made it to my first Dodger game yesterday.  I explained to a friend of mine afterwards, that it had a nice and homey 70's ballpark feel to it.  I actually felt like this is what it must have been like to go to a game there in the 70's with Garvey, Lopes (he coaches 1st base now), Russell, Cey, Baker, Smith, Yeager, and Sutton, Hooton, or Hough on the field.

All I kept thinking while I was there was "California baseball, California baseball, California baseball..."

It's sad to hear that the Houston Astrodome and its surroundings are now a basically deserted stadium and parking lot.  That place (though I never visited it), actually still had a lot of awe of around it growing up as a sports fan.  But I guess the end for it is now near.

2020 Summer Olympic Bid

The winner of the 2020 Summer Olympic bid is going to be announced by the IOC in Buenos Aires next month.  The three finalists for the bid are Istanbul, Madrid, and Tokyo.

The one of the three (according to Wikipedia) that seems to be the furthest shot right now is Madrid.  There seem to have been some scandals of a sort that have lessened its chances for getting the bid.

So that leaves Istanbul and Tokyo.  Go Tokyo.  Ganbatte!!

I said it a few years ago on this same blog, but what I said then still holds: If Turkey ever decides to go the way of a country like Venezuela or Bolivia, and breaks off all its ties with Israel, then I am going to formally renounce my Turkish citizenship.  The Islamic fundamentalist crackpot running the country has been in charge now for almost 10 years.  Why has the military there been unable to overthrow him as they've done in the past with extremist leaders since the republic's founding in 1923?

PED's

While on the subject of PED's in baseball, the questions keep coming back...how does this put a handle on the subject of the top players in this era getting/not getting into the Hall of Fame?  Will Bonds, Sosa, Clemens, Rodriguez, etc. ever have a shot?

First of all, after this year's vote, the HOF to me now is irrelevant.  As one sportscaster put it:

"By keeping out those players suspected of using PED's, what about the one's you never suspected?  Take Derek Jeter as an example.  No brainer, 1st ballot Hall of Famer.  Now, what if in 30 years, it comes out that Jeter was on some sort of PED program - only he just had better doctors than A-Rod?  What do you, retroactively remove him after he'd been enshrined 25 years earlier?  Not so easy to do."

After this year's vote, someone (I think a voting writer) was asked: "At some point we're probably going to inadvertently elect someone who used PED's regularly who at the time, we just didn't suspect.  What happens then?"

The writer's response? 

"I think we may already have."

Family

I sometimes wonder how many of my family members all across the world have taken a moment to check out this blog.

Now mind you, I really do have family spread out all over the world.  And not to spill too many secrets, but not all of them traditionally were altogether there mentally.  I do not mean to talk a lot about it here in this forum.  But at the same time, I would love the opportunity to discuss this with more than a few family members.

On the other hand, they are partly what has made me who and what I am today.  I didn't grow up really knowing a lot of them.  And frankly, I think more than a few of them were (and maybe still are) in some ways, afraid of me.

If one of you is reading this, do know that I'm not out to hurt you.  I may be out looking for answers, but I'm definitely not out to hurt you.  If you in any way try to provoke me though, that's an entirely different story.

Today for lunch, I had half a tongue sandwich, a cup of sweet and sour cabbage soup, and a cream soda.  The sandwich came with potato salad and pickles.  For dinner, I had the other half of the sandwich along with a couple of fruits.  Sorry to say -- the sandwich was not up to par at all with what I remember growing up on the East coast.

Circus Elephant

When I was growing up, I remember one time when I was about 14 or 15 staying up very late (not uncommon) and in the days before everybody had cable, watching TV.  I don't remember what time it was, but it was late enough so that the only thing that held my attention was an infomercial.  The salesman on the infomercial was hawking some sort of positive subliminal message tapes.  A good portion of the infomercial was dedicated to him explaining exactly what is subliminal messaging, and how it works.  I actually found it to be quite interesting (still do).

Anyway, he was describing at one point his experience growing up and being taken to the circus as a child.  While there, he happened to come upon one of the circus elephants being kept in the back with its trainer.  What he noticed immediately was that the only thing securing the elephant was a flimsy rope tied somewhat loosely to its foot (and perhaps not even attached to anything else).  This guy said he asked the trainer how he could be sure such a weak rope could hold such a large powerful animal, who it seemed could break free of its "bondage" and run off as it pleased.

The trainer explained that when the elephant was a baby, it had been secured at all times by a tough wire-rope, which the baby elephant at that time, could not have broken out of.  Therefore, in the adult elephant's mind, it now "accepted" that as long as there was something like that rope around its foot, it would not be able to move or escaped as it pleased.

How many of us (including myself) are still to this day tightly bound/secured to the imaginary ropes in our minds that were instilled upon us growing up?

Chabad

It's really a shame that over the course of the last several years, I've had the unfortunate opportunity to acquaint myself with some of the more arrogant extremist Moshichist forces within the Chabad community.  It's really too bad, because so many of them do such wonderful things all around the world.  Well, as they say, it takes all types.

The Sox won again today, but Tampa Bay is keeping right on their heels.  The added teams to the playoff race does make things more interesting.  However, it is now a whole lot less likely that the team which was probably best during the regular season is going to end up winning (or even making it to) the World Series.  Just like I see no reason to begin following either hockey or basketball before April, now for me baseball has some of the same characteristics.  I like to watch it in April, just because of the long drought of not having it in the off-season.  But for me now, May-July is really not worth the time or effort to follow it.  Nothing to me of interest regarding the race for the playoffs (it's really no longer a "pennant" race) really starts to happen anymore before the beginning of August.

Eye of the Tiger

Special addendum must be made to my post earlier in the week about first favorite songs.  Although I didn't become a regular music listener until later in the fall of '82, a song that summer captured me like no other ever had.  "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor served as my anthem for many years, and to this day is at or near the top of my all-time favorite tunes.

Back to a Weight Watchers meeting next week.

I feel as if I got quite a lot accomplished today.

Need to make my bed before Shabbat.

That's all for this week folks.  Russians, you still plagiarizing my work?...

Sadaharu Oh

How do I think Sadaharu Oh might have fared were he to play in the Major Leagues?  I imagine he would have probably attained about the same level of success (maybe more, actually) as Matsui.  Assuming he wasn't on any kind of performance enhancer, I could see him as probably a .300/30 homer type of guy.

We are into August, and the Red Sox are still hanging on to 1st place.  Two months to go in the season, and they're only four wins away from tying their win total for all of last season.

So funny to think that people are actually surprised to find out the NSA was tracking any/all website activity from the very get-go.  Come on people, 9/11 notwithstanding, did you really think that the powers-that-be would have released a force like the World Wide Web/Internet out into the general public back in the 90's if they did not also put in place a system to carefully monitor it?...Remember, this whole thing was developed as a tool for the U.S. military to provide it with a communications system that would still work error free in the event of a nuclear attack by the Soviet Union.

First Favorite Song

OK, what was your first ever favorite song on the radio?  The one you just couldn't get enough of, the one you of course went out and bought the 45 single of?...

Mine was "Rock the Casbah" by The Clash.  My real introduction into the world of popular music came in the fall of 1982.  The Red Sox, Bruins, Celtics and Patriots weren't doing it enough for me anymore, and I was still at the time way too shy with girls.  Never a big TV person, I turned to FM radio -- specifically 103.3 WEEI FM Boston.  That was the big Top 40 radio station at that time.  That riveting sounding guitar/piano intro to "Rock the Casbah", Joe Strummer's forceful and energetic voice thrusts -- and that crazy echo chamber at the end of the second verse!  Incidentally, of the two versions of the song that got radio airplay, the one with the echo chamber was the only one I liked.

So thank you is in order to The Clash -- whatever else you were, you were my first stop along the path of a lifelong love and devotion to contemporary music.

The Boomer

This week, one of the first baseball players I followed intently, passed away.  George Scott, aka "The Boomer" died on Sunday in his home of Greenville, MI.  According to Gordon Edes of ESPNBoston.com, he weighed right around 400 lbs. at the time of his death.  Can't say that I'm surprised.

My first knowledge of Scott, actually came before I even knew he was (back) with the Red Sox.  When I began collecting baseball cards around 1976/77, I remember getting his 1977 Topps card in a pack.  Don't know what it's like today, but back then, unless a player got traded or signed as a free agent with another club before around 11/15 in the offseason, that player automatically showed up in the following year's set as a member of the team he played with the previous season.  Scott, although starting his career with the Red Sox, played for five seasons with the Brewers, then was sent back to Boston after the 1976 season in the deal that sent him and Bernie Carbo in exchange for Cecil Cooper.  I did not even know he was with the Red Sox until I went to my first game in May of '77 and saw that he was in the lineup for the us (he doubled and scored a run as a part of a 4-run 9th inning rally, come from behind win for the Sox that day).

Breakfast

I ended up eating such a full breakfast after shachrit services this morning, I'm still no where near hungry for lunch.  Of course, all the water I've been drinking (to soak up all of that salty salmon, I'm sure), has been a big part of the appetite suppressant.

2 days to go til the July 31st trade deadline, and we find the Red Sox in first place in the American League East.  On my way to the beach yesterday, I had the pleasure of listening on satellite radio to them build up a 3-0 lead in the first three innings, on their way to a 5-0 shutout win.  I arrived at the beach, and stayed in the car just long enough to hear the call (on Baltimore's radio station) of Big Papi's two-run shot (part of what turned out to be a 4-hit afternoon for him).

I am the Table Topics Master for tonight's Toastmasters Meeting.  The topic I chose?  Of course, baseball.  Going to get my first look ever at Dodger Stadium in a couple of weeks.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

Have finally picked it up and started reading it after all these years.  33 years ago in 6th grade, I got ahold of the abridged children's version of it, and read it for an oral book report.  The next year, I was due to give another oral book report, and reread it (for some reason or other, the teacher never ended up assigning us the report).  So I've always know the basic premise of the story.

Never read through Moby Dick either.  I once picked it up around that same time, got to the part where they caught the whale and served up all the meat of it to the crew, then never returned to it.  Of course, I hadn't read either The Great Gatsby or Catcher in the Rye until about 10 and five years ago respectively.

At some point, I'd also like to check out Paris in the Twentieth Century, the Jules Verne novel that never got published until almost 20 years ago.

Newman

Being a young adult throughout the 90's, I was, of course (despite going through most of it as I am now, sans TV), a huge Seinfeld fan.  My favorite character on the show was none other than..........NEWMAN!! (Hello, NEW-man!!!)  But not stand-alone Newman.  Only when he was interacting in some way with Jerry - and you could just feel the disdain those two had for each other, especially Jerry over Newman...hilarious stuff!

One of my favorite scenes involving those two was in the Kenny Rogers Roaster episode, when Jerry catches Newman smuggling an order of it to Kramer's place after Kramer had sworn off of it because he had become addicted.  When Newman tries to pass off the side order of broccoli in the bag as his own, Jerry calls him out by saying, "you wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep-fried, then dipped in chocolate!"

That got me to thinking -- what about deep-frying/chocolate dipping, all different sorts of food that many people in general can't stand?...Brussels sprouts?...lima beans?...

Shabbat Shalom

Tokyo Pop

Very excited that I am on slate next month to interview someone who worked as an extra in one of my favorite cult films of the 1980's Tokyo Pop.

Finished Seth Godin's book the other day The Icarus Deception.  I emailed him a question about it yesterday - and got a response!  Basically, I asked whether he thought that it was the scare tactics of Corporate America that kept people in tow, or if just some people are naturally more inclined to be followers rather than leaders.  His answer was that he thought it was both, but it depended on what was the culture (of the organization, I figure is what he was referring to).

Still hard to believe as a somewhat old-school East coast hockey fan, that the Stanley Cup has actually found its way here to Southern California a couple of times over the last several years.

Quality Movement of the 90's

Anyone remember the big quality movement in business that began back in the 90's?  This was basically the precursor of today's Six Sigma (which I admit to knowing almost nothing about).

I was at the forefront of this movement -- and from about 1992-96, pretty much made a short career out of it.  Aside from the fact that once I found out how much the whole thing was involved in numbers, there was something else that happened that exposed its flaw.

In 1995, I remember attending a Service Quality conference being given in Baltimore by the American Society for Quality (then the American Society for Quality Control), of which I was a prominent member and held a chair position for my local chapter.  In it, I attended a seminar given by a woman who had this story:  She was from Connecticut, and lived near a small local hamburger stand that had apparently gained quite a cult following throughout the area and the state, for that manner.  The name of it I remember she said was Pilot Burger.  According to her, the stand just served darn good hamburgers.  She said that when you went there, you were greeted by a sign that said, "If you want it your way, go to Burger King".  Her talk began after this story with her saying, "that's fine for that little hamburger stand out in the middle of nowhere Connecticut.  But, realize this -- they are never going to achieve the mass global appeal of a franchise conglomerate like Burger King."

I don't know about you, but I almost immediately realized the problem with this thinking.  The service quality movement said in effect, it's the customers who determine what is good based on their purchasing preferences.  OK, but if the mass appeal churns out more Burger Kings, that's not good at all for society in the long run.

I could easily continue to write about this for another hour or two.  Any comments?

Inspire Me Culturally Interview with Professional Speaker, Trainer, Author and Productivity Expert Hugh Culver

Another killer interview I conducted last week with keynote speaker and owner of Expert's Enterprise Hugh Culver:

Inspire Me Culturally Interview with Hugh Culver 7/17/2013:

A highly sought after keynote speaker and corporate trainer, Hugh D. Culver is an Ironman Competitor, Mountain Climber, 10 time Marathoner and successful businessman. His powerful keynote presentations and training programs are thoroughly researched, content-rich and delivered with a passion for creating lasting change in audience’s lives.

Hugh’s humor and insights will entertain and educate your audience to the powerful choices that are always available in their work and their lives. His programs focus on Leadership, Motivation and Inspiration, Conflict Management, Time Management, and Personal Leadership in the workplace. Since 1991 Hugh has presented his special blend of street smarts, humor and passion to over 450 organizations, including: Imperial Oil, Royal Bank of Canada, Sun Rype Products, Telus, Red Cross, KPMG as well as three universities and four colleges.

Hugh has an MBA from Simon Fraser University, is a CSP (Certified Speaking Professional, one of 40 in Canada) and CFP (Certified Facilitation Professional, one of 88 in Canada).

OH: What exactly is an “expert community”?

HC: It’s actually quite a new phenomenon.  18 years ago when we first started on it, we didn’t use that term, but rather called it simply “expertise”.  An expert community captures a lot of different people…and an expert is paid by other people so that they can learn how to help and serve their own customer base.

OH: I like when you talk about having a “hungry market”.  The analogy that comes to mind is the one about fish not liking lasagna.  It doesn’t matter how mean a lasagna you make, if that’s what you put on your hook, you’re not going to catch anything.  They prefer worms.  Thoughts?

HC: When people come to me with an idea for their business, there are always 3 questions we need to address:

1)      Is there a need for that product?

2)      Do other people recognize that need?

3)      Are those people hungry for it?

A good example of a need that most people recognize but many are not hungry for is wanting to get in shape.  The need is there, most people recognize that need, but how many are really ready to commit themselves to doing what it takes in order to accomplish that goal?

Another example is someone who wants to write a book.  Where is the proof that people are already buying a book about that topic or something near it?  If you don’t know this piece of information, you’d better find out, and if the answer is yes…where are they buying it?  I met with a friend today who’s a quadriplegic who wants to write a book.  My advice to him was not to write about what it’s like being a quadriplegic, but rather, what’s been his journey since becoming a quadriplegic 10 years ago.  That is what’s going to catch people’s interest. 

An even more subtle example is a woman I’m helping who wants to be a professional organizer.  What I’m doing with her is to help her understand that that’s not a hungry audience.  It’s just too expensive to go and find the few people willing to pay $90/hour to get their closet space organized.  As a speaker too, that’s just not an audience.  What I asked her was, what about clutter?  Her challenge is to get away from talking about physical clutter, and get deeper and talk more about spiritual clutter.  This is why most people have physical clutter in their houses – their mind, spirit and heart are already filled with it.  That is what interests people and makes them hungry for more.

OH: How do you “find” the experts?

HC: A number of things work really well.  Webinars, blog posts, and podcasts work best.  And it’s always best to go to an audience with the most urgent need.

OH: What to you are the main differences between an entrepreneur and a “wantrapreneur”?

HC: An entrepreneur takes the risks without any certainty of their success.  A wantrapreneur may talk about creating things, but they will not take the necessary risks.  I was recently listening to an interview with Jay Baer.  One of the things he said is we need to all get away from being “hunters” and become “farmers”.  He also talked a lot about the need for successful entrepreneurs to get more eyeballs watching them.  One of the things that really helps is if you just enjoy helping people – without expecting something in return.

OH: I’m somebody who loves to find free stuff on the Internet.  What does it take to turn somebody like me, who often will look at an article or hear a podcast, say “oh, that’s interesting”, into a person who’s light gets turned on and says “I see value in that, and I’m willing to pay for it”?

HC: That’s the ultimate question!  What I’ve found consistently is that if I can help someone out – that’s when they become a loyal fan.  If I respond to someone personally when I’m contacted, we find that actually works.  What absolutely do not work are broadcasts.  Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook – they’re not 1x1 contacts.  What I like is texting, emailing…basically any kind of personal contact.  Always be looking for ways to make that type of contact.

OH: One of the things you talk about that really resonates with me is getting “stuff up on your calendar”.  My own personal example today has been preparing for this interview, along with another one I did earlier in the day.  Can you talk about how you get your clients to take this step and execute it?  I’m sure it’s hard for some “free-thinking experts”.

HC: Actually, what we are striving for with our clients is for them to get up to an annual calendar.  If you can get yourself up to making an annual plan on your calendar, you’ll be much more proactive. 

As an example, I know there are nine months out of the year that are best to do business.   If you take those nine months and look at them carefully, you’ll find there are really only 37 open client dates available during that time.  How much time do you think you actually have?  My goal is to get my clients to start thinking of time scarcity and create a sense of urgency – to themselves and to their clients.

OH: One of your ideas I’ve already used to my benefit is the one about dealing with procrastination, and making the reward for getting a task done more worthy than putting it off.  Would you explain it a little further?

HC: It wasn’t my idea, but rather it came from research data conducted at MIT.  It comes down to the response, the execution, and the reward.  A common example of a task rarely ever executed is the person who says “I want to write a book”.  The reward for this person is in the “want”, not in the execution.  The idea is that if I want to change a habit in my life, I need to ask – what is going to be the reward if I do so?

(Note: Hugh explains this concept thoroughly in the following webinar):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53haS_4HRu8&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PL0L4RrTFH5v9uIwK_6-CBXjxEKnFGJszu

OH: How can people best get ahold of you?

HC: Best way is through my website at http://expertsenterprise.com/

OH: Thanks so much for your time today, Hugh.

HC: Thank you, Ovadia.

Inspire Me Culturally Interview with Best-Selling Author Bob Burg

Check out this amazing interview I conducted last week with best-selling co-author of The Go-Giver and acclaimed speaker Bob Burg:

       
                      

Inspire Me Culturally Interview with Bob Burg 7/17/2013:

Can a subtle shift in focus really make that big of a difference in your business and income? And, when combining this shift in focus with five proven Laws of Success, can your business really become a lot more fun; a lot less stressful; a lot more profitable; and much more beneficial to your clients?

Our guest says, “Absolutely, yes!”

Bob Burg is a sought-after speaker at corporate conventions and for entrepreneurial events. He regularly addresses audiences ranging in size from 50 to 16,000 — sharing the platform with notables including today’s top thought leaders, broadcast personalities, Olympic athletes and political leaders including a former United States President.

Although for years he was best known for his book Endless Referrals, over the past few years it’s his business parable, The Go-Giver (coauthored with John David Mann) that has captured the heart and imagination of his readers.

It shot to #6 on The Wall Street Journal’s Business Bestsellers list just three weeks after its release and reached #9 on BusinessWeek. It’s been translated into 21 languages. It is his fourth book to sell over 250,000 copies.

Bob is an advocate, supporter and defender of the Free Enterprise system, believing that the amount of money one makes is directly proportional to how many people they serve. He is a founding board member of Club 100, a charitable organization focused on helping underprivileged local area youths. A lover of animals, he is a past member of the Board of Directors for Safe Harbor, which is the Humane Society of Jupiter, Florida.

OH: Do the 5 Laws hold across all cultures?  Have you found any cultures more or less accepting of it?

BB: That’s a great question.  What it really boils down to what we are asking is: how different or alike are most people?  What many people advocate is that since markets and cultures around the world are different, it must mean that people are also different.  My experience has been that that’s really not the case.  The Go-Giver principle will work wherever there is a free-market economy.  What the principle says in effect is that it is a shift from an “I” or “me” focus to an “other” focus.

In a market economy, people want to buy from you if they perceive value in what you have to offer them.  To give you an example, two years ago I spoke right outside of Beijing.  There were translators in 12 different languages, and I did a short Q&A session after my talk, which I don’t always get to do.  What I found was that, the people in the audience had all of the same questions, the same answers, the same fears, and the same objections as other people with whom I’ve talked.  Before I spoke to this audience, I had studied the Pimsleur language course in Mandarin.  The first minute of my talk, I gave entirely in Mandarin.  It’s because I wanted to show them respect, and for me that’s Law # 3 [Law of Influence] in essence when you come right down to it.

OH: The last time I read a book on business that touched me at a core level like this was 20 years ago when I was first starting out.  That book was The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey, of blessed memory.  Did you ever have the chance to meet Dr. Covey, and do you think any of your ideas were influenced by his teachings?

BB: I actually once shared a platform with Dr. Covey at a conference 10 years ago.  He was the keynote speaker, and I followed him right after.  Unfortunately because he had to leave right afterwards, I never did actually meet him.  However, I have gotten to know his son Stephen M.R. Covey, Jr.  He’s written two excellent books:  The Speed of Trust and Smart Trust.  Dr. Covey’s books and teachings have certainly made it into my writings.

OH: I’m 45, and a bit more seasoned than Joe.  Do the 5 laws apply to me and my age bracket just as readily as they do to Joe’s?

BB: Absolutely, yes.  These laws are so across the board that they would transcend any age.  Look at Ray Kroc.  He was 55 when he found a way of taking the McDonalds brothers’ system and using it to touch the lives of many, many people.

OH: Personally, I think that opponents of a purely capitalist system tend to lose sight of the fact that the system is based not on exploiting the worker, but rather on service – providing exceptional value towards the customer.  Would you say that in essence, that’s what your true message really is?

BB: Yes.  Our message is the message of free markets – which honors the natural inclination of human beings.  Capitalism and free enterprise says that to the degree you provide value is the degree you’ll be rewarded.  That doesn’t work in a centrally-planned, non-market economy.  In a free-market economy, even the poor are better off.  The essence of a free market exchange is that both parties come away from the transaction better off than they were before the transaction, creating a bigger pie for all…unlike a non-market economy with a fixed pie.

The thing is, is that people with an anti-capitalist stance have usually never studied it.  People often mistake cronyism for capitalism.  It really bothers me when people use the term “crony capitalism”.  Crony capitalism means that companies and special interests, through their lobby and donations, have bought whatever it is they want, and that’s not freedom.

OH: I once went on a trip throughout Eastern Europe in 1992.  This was just a few years after the fall of communism.  On my trip, I visited a friend of mine in Hungary who was stationed there in the Peace Corps.  He explained once about how he would give talks to people in the government there about the essence of a market economy, and how profits could benefit everyone.  After a lengthy talk, the people in his audience would simply say – “It all sounds great – but profits are bad”.

BB: That’s what happens when people make their decisions based on emotions and what they’ve been taught all their lives.  In the Talmud, it talks about who is mighty – the one who can control his emotions.  When you make your decisions based on your emotions, you’re being controlled by them.

OH: Ultimately, what do you think is the reason for this book’s huge success and its ringing message?  Do you think we’re in a time period where we’re just ripe for it?

BB: A couple of things happened.  One was that it gave people the permission to be a mensch – to do what’s good and still make money.  All of our upbringing, through negative media stereotypes, taught us all the negative aspects of money. 

My belief is that most people really are good people who like to feel they are making a difference.  And most people will try to sell only what it is they truly believe in.  This book said: you can be a good human being…and still be successful in business.  It’s told in a story form, but there really is nothing new in what’s being told.  In an economy such as the one we’ve been in, now is the time to find ways of creating more value – and that’s not intuitive – it’s even a little counterintuitive to what we’ve been taught.

The other reason the book hit hard was that a lot of people were already doing what’s discussed in it when the book came out.  When it first came out, I heard from countless people (and a lot of them were good leaders), was that they were already applying the principles described in the book when they started their businesses, though they hadn’t yet read it.

OH: Briefly define the difference between a Go-Giver, a Go-Getter, and a Go-Taker.

BB: A Go-Giver understands the shift of focus from “I” or “me” to “you” or “other” and follows the 5 Laws of Stratospheric Success.  A Go-Getter (which is also a good thing) takes action.  A Go-Taker is very “I” or “me” focused; feels entitled to take, take, take; and is not focused on providing value.

Adam Grant, whose interview with me you can hear on my blog site at http://www.burg.com/2013/04/give-and-take-an-interview-with-adam-grant/, wrote an excellent book called Give and Take.  In it, he discusses – along with several other important concepts – the difference between a successful giver (what we would call a Go-Giver) and an unsuccessful one.  He did a terrific job!

OH: Tell us if you would a little about what you term “Elements of Value”, and how these can help anyone determine their true value, especially if they have less than normal self-esteem, which can become rampant in a downtrodden economy such as this.

BB: There are actually two concepts here.  The first, Elements of Value, are the ways to communicate the value you provide. 

But before that, we need to talk about Embracing Your Value – which means understanding what you personally bring to the table, as well as your products.  The 5 ways we talk about doing that are:

1)      Excellence – There is no substitute for doing things well with excellence.  It could even include such things as cleanliness.

2)      Consistency – This is key because often people have good intentions, but are inconsistent in their follow-through.

3)      Attention – It means asking questions, or as Dr. Covey put it: “Seeking First to Understand”.

4)      Empathy – The interesting thing about empathy is that people are all different, and you cannot always truly put yourself in their shoes because you have not experienced anything like what they have.  But, even if you don’t understand what they’re feeling, you can still understand that they are feeling something (good, bad, etc.). 

 

In my new book Adversaries to Allies, coming out in October, I tell a story about how I recently had to go to a blood lab, and was waiting in the waiting room.  An angry woman went up to the lady at the front desk and said “You lost my test results, which is why I’m back here.  If this ever happens again, I’m through with this place.”  The woman at the front desk said to her in a cold, polite voice: “Please take a seat and we’ll be right with you”.  All the patient needed at that moment was a little empathy – somebody to say, “I understand, and I’m so sorry about this”.

 

5)      Appreciation – people do need to feel appreciated.  It’s that simple.

When we talk about Elements of Value, you are looking to find out the needs of your clients – and oftentimes they are a lot different than what you think they are.  As Debra Davenport says in the book, “what does it mean to provide value?”  You have to determine what are in fact, your values.

OH: Of the 5 laws, the one that resonated for me personally is the Law of Authenticity.  Could we get the Cliff Notes version of Debra Davenport’s story, and what it takes to be your true, authentic, genuine self, which is not an easy thing for most people?

BB: Debra had never been in formal sales before.  She learned that as important as the skills are, regardless of your field (just as in order to be a doctor you need a particular skill set, so the same goes for sales), it’s all for naught if you don’t come at it from your true authentic core.  Gandhi once said that the definition of integrity is when everything in your life is in alignment.  Authentic people know that they need to continue to learn and to improve themselves.  As the sages of the Talmud said, “who is the wise person?  The one who learns from everyone.”

OH: Law 5 – The Law or Receptivity.  What is the importance of focusing on giving, but allowing yourself to receive?

BB: All the giving is great, but like breathing, you have to breathe in, and breathe out.  If you don’t do both you’re going to create a blockage.

OH: Bob, thank you so much for your time today.  Look forward to seeing you next time you are in the Los Angeles area.

BB: Thank you.

Frustration

If you were a head coach in football, tell me if there might be anything you would find more frustrating than this:

Imagine you've got a multi-talented quarterback.  This guy's got the tools and the potential to be the next Tom Brady.  Yet, he's got a problem.  You see, this guy seems to have a knack for inevitably taking your offense all the way down to the 1-yard line of the opposing team - just a hair's breadth from scoring a touchdown.  Yet inevitably, once he has brought you there, it seems he never fails to then drop back and throw a pass right into the hands of one of the defensive players for an opposite field interception touchdown.

During the time I was in sales, my boss used to always say, "If you're going to lose, do it quickly".  My inclination (besides finding out what the heck is wrong with his psyche) is to tell that QB, listen -- if you were going to do that, why couldn't you have just done it back at our 20-yard line where we first started the drive?  Get it over with, get the bad pass out of your system, and let's move on.  Why in the world did you have to put us through all that anticipation and heartache?...

Sunday Beach Day Not Looking Good

Still have way too much to get done this afternoon before Shabbat, and going to a wedding Sunday evening...not looking like I'm going to get to everything I wanted to before candle lighting.

Favorite Airports:

Boston Logan
JFK
Ben Gurion
SFO
Phoenix Sky Harbor
Anchorage (the old one, don't know what the newly renovated one is like)
Chicago Midway

Shabbat Shalom and a good weekend to all --

Old Japanese Proverb

Fall seven times, get up eight.

Not that I like looking back so often, but it sure would have been nice to have a store like Trader Joe's when I was growing up. [(free advertisement, TJ -- you're welcome...:)]

A friend of mine in Israel (an American from New Jersey), when I explained to him my stories about some of the challenges I had growing up being an immigrant with immigrant parents, trying to fit in to small-town Massachusetts, answered this way:

"I can just imagine what it must have been like for you growing up in a place like New England, always having to validate yourself - when you even weren't sure what exactly the hell you were.  I imagine it was probably very similar to growing up black."

He was right.

Ta'eem Grill for lunch!  (one more free advertisement which I do not mind at all giving out.)