What Schools Don’t Teach About Career -- and Life Success

What Schools Don’t Teach About Career -- and Life Success

Ovadia Hayat

A Personal Journey of Realization and Growth

I did everything I was told—worked hard, stayed loyal, followed the rules. But one day, I realized the game was rigged. Success wasn’t just about effort—it was about understanding the system and playing it wisely.

Early Career Mindset

As a young professional in my 20s and 30s, I held a conventional view of career success. I thought that dedication to my job, adherence to company policies, and an unwavering commitment to hard work would naturally lead to promotions, salary increases, and a fulfilling career. This mindset was deeply ingrained in me through both my formal education and societal expectations. The equation seemed simple: work hard, be loyal, and success will follow.

The Turning Point

However, a turning point came when I realized that my adherence to this "wrong" playbook was not yielding the results I had anticipated. It dawned on me that despite my relentless efforts, my career progression was stagnating. This realization came during a particularly challenging period at work, where I observed that those who advanced were not necessarily the hardest workers but rather those who understood the dynamics of networking, strategic career moves, and self-promotion. Numerous times, I watched as colleagues who were clearly neither the most talented nor even the hardest working move past me up the corporate ladder. Those painful but necessary experiences forced me to rethink everything I knew about career success.

What I Know Now

My personal journey has taught me several key lessons that schools should impart to students:

·       The Importance of Networking: Building and maintaining professional relationships can be just as important as your technical skills and work ethic. Networking opens doors to opportunities that you might not even be aware of.

·       Strategic Career Moves: Sometimes, lateral moves or even stepping back momentarily can set you up for greater long-term success. Understanding when and how to make these moves is crucial.

·       Self-Promotion: Being good at your job isn't enough. You need to ensure that others, especially decision-makers, are aware of your contributions and achievements.

·       Financial Literacy: Understanding how money works, including investments and financial planning, is essential for long-term stability and growth.

The Career Lessons No One Told Me

How I spent decades trading time for money instead of building assets:

For years, I believed that exchanging my time for a paycheck was the only path to financial security. I focused on earning a salary rather than building assets that could generate passive income. It wasn't until later in life that I realized the importance of investing in assets such as real estate, stocks, or even businesses that could provide financial independence.

The moment I realized that "hard work" alone wouldn’t make me wealthy:

A pivotal moment came when I saw colleagues, who were not necessarily the hardest workers, outpace me in terms of career advancement and financial success. They understood the importance of leveraging their time and resources, rather than just toiling away. This epiphany made me understand that hard work, while important, must be combined with strategic thinking and asset building.

Why self-education was the real game-changer, not my formal education:

Formal education laid the foundation for my career, but it was self-education that truly transformed my professional and financial trajectory. Books, seminars, and mentorships provided insights and knowledge that were never covered in school. Self-education equipped me with the tools to navigate the complexities of the professional world and make informed decisions about my career and finances.

Actionable Advice

The #1 lesson I wish I had learned sooner about career success:

The most valuable lesson is that building a successful career is not just about working hard but also about working smart. This involves understanding the importance of networking, strategic career planning, and continuous self-education.

A practical step readers can take today:

Want to take control of your career starting today? Here’s my challenge for you: Read Rich Dad Poor Dad and start thinking about ways to build assets—not just earn a paycheck. Then, take one step toward networking this week—send a message, set up a coffee chat, or join a professional group. Small steps lead to big changes.

Closing Thought

Jim Rohn once said, ‘Formal education will earn you a paycheck. Self-education will earn you a fortune.’ I didn’t fully understand this until nearly 50—but you don’t have to wait that long.

What’s one career lesson you had to learn the hard way? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear about your experience!

Mastering Proactivity: A Guide to Taking Control of Your Career

Empowering Yourself in the Professional World

Hard work alone won’t get you ahead. Neither will waiting for recognition. If you want to accelerate your career, you need to be proactive—especially after critical workplace conversations. I break it down in my latest article.

Ovadia Hayat

Introduction

Have you ever felt like your career was at the mercy of others' decisions? What if you could take back control and shape your own success? In today's competitive job market, being proactive is more than just a beneficial trait — it's a necessity. Passive career management leaves your professional growth at the mercy of external factors, whereas a proactive approach empowers you to shape your own path, seize opportunities, and build a fulfilling career. This guide will explore the importance of proactivity in career management and provide actionable steps to help you become a master of your professional destiny.

Case Study: A Lesson in Proactivity

Recently, I encountered a young man at my workout gym who was trying to negotiate a promotion at his job. His boss informed him that he would hear back about it in a few days. I advised him not to let this interim period pass without being proactive. I suggested that he draft an email to his boss, thanking them for their time and sharing specific ideas to improve the efficiency of his department.

The young man followed my advice and sent the email. Although he didn't get the promotion, he had already started looking for better opportunities. By the next week, he had quit his job and secured a better position with another company. Proactivity isn’t just about getting what you ask for—it’s about maintaining momentum and opening better doors. This experience underscored the importance of not letting "dead silence" follow an important meeting or interview and the value of taking initiative in managing one's career.

The Power of Proactivity

Proactivity involves taking initiative, anticipating future needs, and acting in advance rather than reacting to events as they occur. This mindset can significantly enhance your career trajectory by:

· Creating Opportunities: By not waiting for opportunities to come to you, you can create your own through networking, skill development, and seeking out new challenges.

· Building Relationships: Proactive individuals make the effort to build strong professional relationships, which can lead to mentorship, collaboration, and new job prospects.

· Enhancing Reputation: Taking the initiative can set you apart from your peers, establish you as a leader, and build a reputation for reliability and innovation.

Steps to Become More Proactive

1. Set Clear Goals

Define your short-term and long-term career goals. Knowing what you want to achieve allows you to take targeted steps toward your objectives. Write down your goals and create a roadmap with actionable steps to reach them.

2. Continuously Improve Your Skills

The job market is constantly evolving, and so should your skill set. Identify the skills that are most relevant to your industry and invest in continuous learning through courses, workshops, and self-study. Stay updated with industry trends and adapt accordingly.

3. Network Actively

Networking is not just about attending events and exchanging business cards. Proactively seek out meaningful connections within and outside your organization. Engage with industry professionals on platforms like LinkedIn, attend conferences, and participate in professional communities. Building a strong network can open doors to new opportunities and provide valuable support throughout your career.

4. Seek Feedback and Act on It

Regularly seek feedback from colleagues, mentors, and supervisors to understand your strengths and areas for improvement. Use this feedback to make necessary adjustments and show your commitment to personal and professional growth.

5. Take on New Challenges

Volunteer for new projects, take on additional responsibilities, and step out of your comfort zone. By doing so, you demonstrate your willingness to grow and your ability to adapt to new situations. This proactive approach can also showcase your leadership potential.

6. Follow Up After Meetings and Interviews

After important meetings or interviews, don't let the interim period slip by without being proactive. Follow up with a thank you email, reiterate your interest, and share any additional ideas or insights you may have. This shows your enthusiasm and keeps you on the radar of decision-makers.

Conclusion

Proactivity in career management is about taking charge of your professional journey, rather than waiting for opportunities to come your way. By setting clear goals, continuously improving your skills, actively networking, seeking feedback, taking on new challenges, and following up after key interactions, you can create a dynamic and rewarding career path. Remember, your career is in your hands — be proactive and shape it into your vision!

Have you ever taken a proactive step that changed your career path? Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear your story! If you’d like more guidance, feel free to connect with me directly.

Quote of the Day

"A mind once stretched by a new idea never returns to its original dimensions." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Do not do unto others...

...as you would not have done unto you.  The rest is just commentary.  Now, go study the commentary." -- Rabbi Hillel

Dangerous Liasions

Overall: Good

Not Amadeus.  But on the other hand, not Affair of the Necklace either.

Speech

Last night I gave a speech at my local Toastmasters club, and took home for the first time in what seems like forever, the Best Speaker ribbon.

The title of my speech was "What To Do When It's All Too Much".  I just gave a brief overview of some of the techniques I practice when it all gets to be too much and the walls are caving in on me.

The first technique I discussed was the Stop 3 Breath Technique.  At the moment when you feel you're really about to lose it, just stop.  Stop immediately what you're doing.  Close your eyes.  And take 3 deep breaths.  Then continue on with whatever it is that you were doing.

The 2nd thing I described was the 3 step process for when you realize you're facing adversity:

1. Do Something Therapeutic

It can be anything, a guided imagery, going to the beach, praying...

2. Read Something Inspirational or Spiritually Uplifting

3. EXERCISE

That's all there really was to it.  It's not a speech I practiced.  But that is because I didn't feel the need to do so.  And I got some very good feedback on it.  Look forward to posting it on my social media pages.

Theory

A rabbi of mine once had an interesting theory, of which I've elaborated upon over the past few years, as to why Jews, especially those from the East coast/New York area move away from Judaism.

I was having a conversation with my friend Shmuel, and I told him about how I had read The Vanishing American Jew written by Alan Dershowitz.  In it, Mr. Dershowitz talked about a woman he had encountered.  This woman was Jewish by birth, and had grown up in a very typical, conservative Jewish American home.  When she began dating as a teenager, she had no interest in dating any Jewish guys, and eventually married a Catholic man.  Neither her nor her children have any connection whatsoever to Judaism.  When asked why, she answered "To me, growing up, Judaism was nothing more than an old man saying no."

My rabbi, Shmuel recounted to me, said that the essence of Judaism is very soft and tender.  After the Holocaust, the survivors who came here set the tone for a hardened and embittered Judaism.  I believe it started happening even before the Holocaust, with the advent of all the pogroms in Russia and Eastern Europe starting at the turn of the last century.

Anyway, the theory is that many of today's Jews who came from this hardened and embittered Jewish environment are still looking for that soft, sweet core that they know in their hearts is there.  And they go looking for it in ashrams, Eastern religions, New Ageism, and (I believe) even in things like Reform and Reconstructionist Judaism --  which all on the surface, appear to have that soft, sweet, tender inner base.

Shabbat Shalom

Apple

Amazing how an apple can fill you up.  Well, that's what it's supposed to do.  It's got plenty of fiber in it, so it fills up your intestines with food, and makes you feel full.

Game 4 of the ALCS tonight in Detroit.  Red Sox bats have got to wake up against the number 4 starter for the Tigers.  I just don't think Sanchez, Schwertzer, and Verlander are going to get any easier to face as this series progresses.

Yesterday at the bar I was at, I drank Sam Adams' Oktoberfest beer.  That bar doesn't have light beers on tap.  So, I indulged.  And, I'll do so again this afternoon/evening.

Shabbat meals are all set.

Most Memorable Kosher Establishments I've Dined At So Far In My Life

Distrikt Bistro (Washington, D.C.)
La Gondola (Los Angeles)
Hoffy's (Antwerp)
Pat's (Los Angeles)
Boddha Thai (Los Angeles)
Melech Ha Falafel ve Shawarma (Jerusalem)
Nut House Pizza (Wheaton, MD)
Randall's (Houston)
Madras (Houston)
Mexikosher (Los Angeles)
Shanghai Diamond Garden (Los Angeles)

What It Means To Be a Fighter

I have been a fighter all my life.  And, I make absolutely no apologies for being one.

So, what exactly does it mean to be a fighter?  A very good question; one which I definitely do not have any pocket answer for.

For me, a lot of times it just means getting right back up after being knocked down.  I love that Chumbawamba song from the 90's - the one that goes "I get knocked down, but I get up again..."  A friend of mine used to joke about it, in fact because she knew how much I loved it, and how closely it reflected my personality as well as my overall way of being.

I'm not sure what else being a fighter entails, exactly.  It is, though, a quality of mine that I am (not so much anymore) privately very proud to have. 

Here's hoping that someone else who happens to be reading it might draw at least a bit of inspiration out of this post.

Come on Sox, let's deliver the knockout punch Monday night in Tampa Bay...

Delmon Young 2

So, it is going to be Delmon Young and the Rays facing us in the first round.  Suffice it to say, I will not be watching or listening to any of the games.

Still have got a lot to do.  No shiur tonight it looks like unfortunately...

The Bruins have dropped the puck and have officially opened the 2013-14 against Tampa Bay.  Hockey and basketball, from October - April are essentially six-month long extended exhibition seasons, so I really have no interest in any of the games until then.

I am hunkering for some sashimi tonight to go with my rice and noodle leftovers...

Time to move the car...technically, I could be getting a ticket for it right at this moment.

Delmon Young

The Cleveland Indians and the Tampa Bay Rays are about set to face off in their AL Wild Card game to determine who will go on to play the Red Sox in the opening divisional round of the playoffs.  I refuse to listen to the game.  And if the Rays win this game and face the Red Sox, I refuse to watch or listen to any of the games.  All because of one (and I use this next word very loosely) man, Delmon Young.

Mr. Young, I have hardly forgotten about what you did in your drunken stupor in New York early last season.  It was for that reason I refused to watch or listen to any of the ALCS or World Series last year.  And it's the same reason why whether it was with the Tigers, Phillies, or now the Rays - I immediately turned the dial if I found out that you were playing in that game.  I sincerely hope that you are out of baseball soon.  I'm sure many others like you have done or said worse things.  But you got caught.

Go Cleveland.

Postseason

It appears the Red Sox will not begin their ALDS series until Friday night, and will play Game 2 on Saturday.  So, looks as if I will not be in front of any TV watching them play for about a week.  It will be either Cleveland, Texas or Tampa Bay.

Patriots also won last night, and are now 4-0.  Still though, there's no excuse for almost letting a 17 point lead slip away with just about half a quarter left to play.

The Bruins are in training camp, and will begin defense of their Eastern Conference championship soon.  Celtics beginning training camp soon sans Garnett and Pierce.

Tragic, what happened to that Dodgers fan in San Francisco.  Just don't risk it guys.  Your life is not worth less than your favorite sports team.  Really.

Concerts

I went to a lot of rock concerts during the latter half of the 80's, when I was in college.  As one friend of mine later on said to me when I recounted this a while after graduating: "Didn't anyone bother to tell you that your grade point average is inversely and proportionally related to the number of concerts you go to while in school?"  :)

One concert I have particularly fond memories of was the Yes concert I went to at the Worcester Centrum in December of 1987.  Now, besides what a great performance Jon, Trevor, Rick, Tony, etc. put on, was the fact that I was completely sick as a dog the night of that show.  What compelled me to get up and go to that show is beyond me.  But go I did, and it really was one of the better performances I saw out of all the Centrum concerts I attended during my time at Clark.  Every one of those guys is just such an incredible musician.  And this was during just about the height (maybe a few years following) their mainstream Top 40 popularity.

Learning

I remember one time back in my judo days when I learned a particular technique, and "got it right once" very early on.  Subsequent attempts to apply the same technique kept failing over and over again.  After one particularly tough workout, I remember mentioning to one of my friends in the club (a brown belt), that I felt like I was actually beginning to take a step or two back in my training, and not at all improving.  His response?

"That's actually a good sign.  It's a sign that now you are beginning to take note of the mistakes you're making.  Before, you weren't even aware of those mistakes.  But now that you know you're making them, all you've got to do is figure out how to stop making them and apply the techniques correctly."

What he was saying in a nutshell was -- I was learning.  Much the same with everyday life.  And have I got a lot to learn...

Minute Maid Park

Got my first taste of Minute Maid Park last night, as I was able to see pretty much all of the Astros getting pounded by Cincinnati for their 99th loss of the season.  Sorry, sorry franchise right now -- hate to tell you.

Was able to have my coffee this morning.  Makes a huge difference.

Stayed up late last night watching South Park.  Not something usual, but I suppose these are special circumstances...actually quite enjoyed the two-part episode about Cartman traveling 500 years into the future, all based on his inability to wait three weeks for the new Nintendo Wii to come out.

Yom Kippur

So ends another year.  Going to begin fasting in about an hour and a half.

Got my 4 runs in for the week.  Very happy about that.  Do not have to worry about not having achieved that weekly goal.

Going to a pre-fast meal in about 30 minutes.  Think I'll have time to come back here, throw on my tie, light the candles, and brush my teeth before Kol Nidre.

Red Sox

The Red Sox are closing in on the AL Eastern Division title.  Last night's 10-inning 7-3 win over Tampa Bay lowers their magic number for clinching down to 8, with about 18 or so left to play.

What a blessing it is to have this current ownership regime.  After reading all about the Yawkey/Yawkey Estate regime's sins/wrongdoings in the book It Was Never About the Babe, it's so wonderful to have this regime in charge.  I think the fact that the owners are not in fact locals made a lot of the difference.  Tom Yawkey was not a local either, but he brought all the worst elements of Southern culture with him up north when he bought the team -- and it reflected all throughout his and his estate's ownership of the team.

The Sox are also planning on honoring Yaz with a statue outside Fenway.  Well, the man was an institution for an entire generation.  Without him, the Sox for sure don't win one pennant, and perhaps not two.

Sweatshop

My first true job out of college was working in corporate sweatshop.  It was a high-end sweatshop.  But still nevertheless, it was a sweatshop.  Senior management of this company though, was very good at masking that aspect of the company from its young, naïve, inexperienced workforce.  Of course, I ended up staying there long past my expiration date.  I needed that experience -- because I did not get everything out of my college experience that I could have.  Anyway, I was mostly unhappy throughout my college experience.  My life up until age 18 really had not prepared me for college.  Also, I don't think I attended a college that was really suited for me.  But again, no crying over the past -- all my experiences made me into what I am today -- and I'm very thankful for that.

Another fast coming up in a few days.

I had to go through a lot the past 20 years to get where I'm at.  It was around 20 years ago that I first experienced the Judaism that has propelled me into the observance that I follow today.

Harassment

Just experienced my first anti-Semitic harassment since moving to LA.  Out for my daily walk, crossing Curson and Rosewood, a car stops just after I crossed, and the passenger yelled out "kike!", and sped off.  I stopped to make sure to get the license plate number, the car also stopped halfway up the street, and I heard the passenger use some more expressive language.  I think I was able to catch the license plate number, which I wrote down:

CA 6YZDLT03

It was a white car, but that's all I was able to get.  I called 911, and was told it's not a "hate crime" per se, but it is definitely harassment, which I can report if I choose to.  I have to go directly to the nearest police station and report it in person, though.  I think I'm going to contact a lawyer friend of mine, see if there's some way of reporting this within the community.  Or perhaps Hillygram.  Or Beverly Patrol.